Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
