I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
