Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
