I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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