Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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