Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You were trust falling into bushes
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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