Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
bring money and cleavage
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
