Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
