Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
