Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Your cock deserves a montage
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
