I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
