never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
