So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
