marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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