Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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