um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
