so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
