I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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