I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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