I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
