guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
