You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
