the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
