btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
