Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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