who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
