Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you had me at cake vodka
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
