The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
