It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
