she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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