i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
