My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
