I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
