i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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