her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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