Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
