All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Its about making memories worth repressing
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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