the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
