Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
