I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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