who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
