i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
