Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
