call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
