I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
