Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
