your thong is hanging out like whoa
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
