your thong is hanging out like whoa
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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