He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
