even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize