Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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