You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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