found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
