So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
