I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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